(A Hollywood office.)
JEFF: He's living under the sea!
JANE: Like a mermaid?
JEFF: Merman.
JESS: We're going in that direction?
JEFF: What other direction do we have?
JESS: Rose's life after the Titanic. She falls in love again. A second chance.
JEFF: Then how do we get Leo in the movie?
JANE: Do we NEED Leo in the movie? We'd still have Kate.
JEFF: We can't do a Titanic reboot without Leo.
JESS: Maybe he's a ghost. Maybe she has to choose between the ghost and her husband.
JANE: Who would choose a ghost over a living person?
JESS: That depends. Does the living person look like Leo?
JEFF: A young Leo.
JESS: He's not that young anymore.
JEFF: We'll use the CGI.
JANE: Depending on when the story starts, we might not have to. We just start the story however many years it's been since Titanic.
JESS: Twenty-three years.
JANE: That can't be right.
JEFF and JESS: It is.
JANE: Jesus, I'm old.
JEFF: I feel like--hear me out--I feel like this whole 'Maybe he's a ghost thing' is a little far-fetched.
JESS: Jeff, you wanted to have him be a mermaid.
JEFF: Man.
JESS: He can't just turn into a fish-person.
JEFF: You want to have him turn into a ghost.
JESS: That's what happens when you die. You turn into a ghost.
JEFF: Oh, you're an authority on what you turn into when you die?
JESS: I have it on pretty good authority you don't turn into a FISH.
JANE: What if Rose wakes up and she's in a lifeboat and Jack's with her and she only dreamt that he died, but he's actually okay?
(A beat.)
JEFF: The dream thing.
JESS: It gets done so much--
JEFF: That's because it works.
JANE: Then we just--explore their life after that.
JEFF: Mmmmmmmmm I feel like--
JESS: Yeah.
JANE: What?
JEFF: Wouldn't that be sort of--boring?
JANE: What?
JESS: Kind of--anti-climatic after what they just went through?
JANE: Well, I guess, but what else--
JEFF: But the dream thing I like. We can keep that.
JESS: Yeah, I'm warming up to it.
JANE: And what happens after she wakes up?
JEFF: Okay, so, let's break this down--Rose wakes up. Jack is alive. The ship is sunk. But!
JANE: But?
JESS: Buuuuut?
JEFF: But! They build a new ship.
JANE: What?
JESS: Oooooh.
JEFF: A new ship. They build a new ship convinced that it won't have the same problem as the old one. You know, like Jurassic Park but with icebergs.
JANE: Who's building this ship?
JESS: Jack and Rose.
JEFF: No.
JESS: No?
JANE: No!
JEFF: No, the, you know, the ship builders. The people who built the first one.
JANE: But they didn't.
JEFF: What?
JANE: They didn't build another ship.
JEFF: And Rose didn't dream that Jack was dead, but we can take certain liberties.
JANE: Rose and Jack are imaginary. The ship wasn't.
JEFF: I'm confused.
JESS: Some of the movie was real and some of it wasn't.
JEFF: We can do that?
JESS and JANE: We can DO anything.
JEFF: So why can't we make him a merman?
JESS: What is it with you and mermen?
JEFF: Just hear me out--The guy who builds the first ship is pissed. He's furious. His ship sunk because of a technicality. He's determined to redeem himself. To prove that he can make the greatest ship ever built. Greater than Titanic One.
JANE: Titanic One?
JEFF: Rose and Jack know he's playing a dangerous game. Against their better judgment, they board the new ship--knowing that if something goes wrong, they're the only ones who know how to save the passengers.
JESS: By putting them in lifeboats.
JEFF: But there aren't enough lifeboats.
JANE: They still don't have enough lifeboats?
JEFF: They have even less!
JESS: Why would they have less?
JEFF: Because they think they don't need them, because the ship isn't going to sink.
JANE: But then it sinks?
JEFF: You're damn right it sinks!
JESS: And Rose and Jack save the day?
JEFF: They try to, but then--
JESS and JANE: Yes?
JEFF: Rose dies.
(A beat.)
JANE: Rose dies?
JEFF: Now that's a twist.
JANE: Question--after she dies, does she become--
JEFF: A mermaid, yes.
JANE: Wow.
JESS: Jeff, that's--No.
JEFF: What?
JANE: No.
JESS: No, Jeff.
JANE: No.
JEFF: Why not?
JESS: That's--pretty much the first movie all over again.
JEFF: It's nothing like the first movie. Jack lives. Rose dies. There are aliens.
JANE: There are aliens?
JEFF: I didn't get to that part yet.
JESS: Okay...
JEFF: The ship is actually a spaceship.
JANE: And it goes into space?
JEFF: Uhhh that's what spaceships do, Jane.
JESS: So then how does it sink?
JEFF: It falls from space into the ocean.
JANE: And there are aliens?
JEFF: Of course there are aliens. There are aliens all over space. Haven't you ever been to space?
JANE: Have you been to space, Jeff?
JEFF: I've seen space.
JANE: Well, we've all...seen it, Jeff.
JESS: This just sounds really out there.
JEFF: Okay, well, you didn't let me tell you about the pirates.
JANE: Jeff, this is sounding more and more like Treasure Planet.
JEFF: I'm not familiar with that movie.
JANE: You're not familiar with the modern classic--Disney's Treasure Planet?
JESS: Can we stop talking about Treasure Planet and start talking about how we're going to reboot Titanic?
JEFF: What about Jack's superpower?
JANE: What superpower? He didn't have superpowers.
JESS: Jeff, did you see Titanic?
JEFF: I saw...the trailer.
JANE: You're out, Jeff.
JEFF: Okay, but--
JANE and JESS: You're out.
JEFF: Fine, but let me just pitch one more thing--dinosaurs.
JANE: Bye Jeff.
JEFF: Like in Jurassic Park.
JANE and JESS: Bye Jeff.
(End of Play.)
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