Barbie's Back in Business

Barbie danced out in Valhalla
Down by Serpentine
Left by the Airport
The lounge, not the actual airport

That was the fancy place
Where you'd go with friends
To have a laugh
And some drinks

Barbie was always the headliner
At Valhalla

She'd come out and go--

'Hey boys'

All coy like
And sweet

Her thing was the drums

Barbie could play the drums
And that was something

'Cause the closest thing to cool
Any of the other girls could do
Was juggle

And Marisol, Barbie's nemesis
Wasn't all that much of a juggler

Marisol used to say--

'Course she a good drummer. All she do all night is BANG.'

Marisol was mad because Barbie was the headliner
And because Marisol's boyfriend, Christiano
Liked Barbie better than his girl

'Why don't you learn to drum, baby? Then maybe I'll start staying home nights.'

We should have known Barbie was in trouble
When they found Christiano in the back parking lot
Stabbed eighty-four times
Which some said was the number of women he slept with
While he was with Marisol

We should have known Barbie was going to be next
But she was the type of chick you just didn't worry about
Something about her just seemed
Eternal

Her last night working at Valhalla
She did two sets, back to back
And both of 'em got standing o's
Like she was Fanny Brice or something
But with Tommy Lee's arms

She was supposed to head out the next day
Go to Los Angeles so as she could be a starlet
And get cast in CBS pilots
Called 'College Gurlz' with a 'u' and a 'z'
Or 'That's Love!" --exclamation point

As a parting shot, which she shouldn't have done, but...

She called out to Marisol onstage

'Gee, Marisol' she said

--Marisol was sitting at the bar
In the back of the house
Picking at her fingernails
With a rusty knife
She'd been carrying around
Since they found Christiano

'Gee, Marisol,' Barbie said, 'Guess you can be the headliner now that the club's gonna close.'

It wasn't like Barbie to be so nasty
But she'd had enough of Marisol over the years
And I guess...

Well, I guess she wanted to have the last word

But nobody got the last word over Marisol

The next day, I called the number Barbie gave me in L.A.
To reach her
Once I knew her plane would have landed
And she'd be at her new place
This little apartment complex
Next to an Arby's

'Cept there wasn't any answer

I figured maybe Barbie was already out partying
But...I had a bad feeling

. . . . .

Two years later, Marisol was working the mainstage
And the place was dead

Ever since Barbie had left
Valhalla had been attracting the wrong kinda crowd
And all the good people have moved on to Folsom and Butan
And pretty much anywhere but here

I got a job working the door
But the owner told me short of a miraculous uptick in business and clientele
The doors weren't going to be open for long

When the time came for Marisol to go on
The lights wouldn't come up the way they were supposed to

The purple hit the blue in a weird sorta way
And it all came out looking green
Like the bottom of the ocean
When you're puking into it after drinking all night
Off the docks by the airport

The actual airport, not the lounge

I thought I saw people swimming in those lights
And it was kinda--

'JIMMY, STOP JERKING YOURSELF OFF AND HIT THE NEXT SWITCH!'

Marisol was yelling from the backstage

But when Jimmy hit the switch
The music came up all slow
Like it was trudging through silt
To get back to dry land

'JIMMY!'

That was the gold lights came on

Barbie's lights

She was at her drum set
Her skin was all grey
And her eyes were shut tight
Like she'd been sleeping in a Tupperware container

Her hands were holding her drumsticks
And her drumsticks were hanging
Right over the drums

Ready to drop
Like an axe

Marisol came out and looked at her
Like she was looking at the sun
Going down the wrong way

Then Barbie said--

'Go ahead, Marisol.'

Bah-badda bah-badda bah

'Dance'

And Barbie starts banging

'You remember me, don't you, Marisol? I can bang all night.'

And as soon as she starts banging
Marisol starts dancing

But when she gets down to the part
Where you see the tassels...

She's got another top on

And when she pulls off the bottoms
Another pair

Marisol removes those
And at first, you think it's part of the act
And then Barbie starts banging faster
And faster

Eyes closed
Lips parted
Like her arms aren't even a part of her anymore

Like they've been pulled
From some demon drummer straight outta hell

Marisol keeps taking it off
And taking it off

And the whole thing
You ain't seein' anymore skin

The crowd's getting restless

They think this is part of the act
Because most of 'em don't remember Barbie

And they're shoutin' at Marisol

'WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MARISOL?'

'THE BITCH IS CRAZY!' Marisol yells, 'She can't be here! She can't be here!'

And suddenly water starts pouring out of Marisol's mouth
Thick, dark, salty ocean water
Pours out over the stage

Jimmy starts screaming from the booth
But the water stops

And that's when it happens

Marisol goes to pull off her top
And this time
It comes off

And her skin comes off with it

She doesn't move
She doesn't scream
She doesn't even tremble

The crowd is staring at her

This don't look like no act they've seen before

Marisol goes to grab her bottom half
To see if she can pull it up over her first
When it comes off in her hands

And the rest of her skin along with it

She stands for a second
And now she's trembling

Then with a scream--

She falls

But when she falls
She falls into nothing

Just two tassels
And all the balls
She was gonna juggle

Barbie stood up
Put her drumsticks down
Walked over to me and said--

'Sorry I never returned your call'

Then she put on a dark pair of sunglasses
And walked back out the door

And this time
I'm thinking she made it to L.A.