Yankee Swap

Raise your hand if you wanted to do a Secret Santa
Instead of this stupid Yankee Swap

Ohhh look at me being the only one with my hand raised

Bet you listened to me now, don't you?

Because now I'm the one with the singing shark
And all of you have the stupid gifts

Ohhh I'm not stupid

I know the singing shark is dumb

But it's the coolest thing in this pile of crap
And that's really saying something

Did all of you forget that we were doing Yankee Swap today?

Because of this crap is stuff you can buy at the gas station
Across the street

Including this air freshener that poor Jamie has to go home with

Hey Jamie
Remember when I wanted to do Secret Santa
And you wanted to do a Yankee Swap

Well let me just tell you
If I had gotten you for Secret Santa
I would have bought you a bottle of perfume

Now you're going home with a car
That's going to smell like fake cherries

Merry Christmas, Jamie

Hey Chris
Remember when you said 'A Yankee Swap will be fun!'?

By fun, did you mean--

Yay, I got a box of garbage bags!

That doesn't sound like fun to me, Chris
But maybe I'm wrong

And Krissy

You were the one who came up with Yankee Swap
Otherwise I would have let you keep the singing shark

But because you put us all through his
It's coming home with me

I hope you like your bag of fish food

By the way,
Do you have fish?

Hmm, that's too bad
Maybe you can munch on it

You never know, you may like it

You all have fun with your gifts

Keep this in mind next year when I want to do Secret Santa

Now if you'll excuse me
I gotta go home and listen to my shark sing