Catch-23

This is what I get for dating bisexuals

Natalie met Dee last week at, where else
The Broken Bean

Worst name for a coffee place--EVER

Anyway, the two of them met
And were like--

Hey, didn't you date Sam?
Yeah, I did
Aren't you bisexual?
Yeah, I am
Wanna date each other and make Sam hate his life?
Sounds good!

I'm imagining here
Go with me

It's a total Catch-23

I mean, when does this happen? Ever?

My two exes are dating each other

One of the only good things about exes is supposed to be
That they CAN'T date each other

You know what I bet they do all day?

Sit around and talk about me

Didn't you hate his shirts?
Yeah, I really did

Didn't you hate his dad?
Yeah, he was such an ass

Don't you miss having sex with him?
Oh my God, sooo much

I'd bet that's the gist of it

I bet Natalie doesn't mind that Dee laughs like a car backfiring
And I bet Dee doesn't mind that Natalie has to be on top during--

Well, maybe that isn't the case anymore
Who knows?

I admit I've made some mistakes
But I never thought my mistakes would join together
Like some sort of supervillain alliance

Now I have to see them at parties
Walking around
Reminding everyone that clearly I was the problem
In both relationships
Obviously
Because they're dating each other
And they're doing just fine

Sometimes I have dreams about getting back with the two of them

I dream about sneaking in between the two of them
And it's not, no, it's--

It's not a sexual thing, it's just--

Maybe I was the problem

And maybe the two of them together could have fixed me

I know, you can't fix people, but--

Maybe that's because you're not enough by yourself
Maybe sometimes when you're really screwed up
You need more than one person to fix you

Maybe that's the problem with me
Maybe I'm the catch-23