When I Die Tomorrow

When I die tomorrow
I'll be eating my spaghetti
And suddenly I'll understand

I will fully comprehend spaghetti

Its point
Its intention
Its purpose

I will go into the spaghetti
And become the flour and the grain and the tomato sauce
Dripping down from the top

I will achieve a connection
With the spaghetti
That I wasn't even aware existed
Until my mortality was pulled away from me
Like gum from the bottom of a sneaker

And then I'll go beyond the spaghetti

I will connect with the plate
The utensils, the table
The tablecloth, the restaurant
The girl across from me
Who will spend the rest of her life
Wondering if she would have fallen in love
Had I not died in front of her on our first date

I'll take on a barbershop pole's infinity
And go to the day when her daughter is born
And the day when she meets her husband
And the day when the daughter meets her husband
And the day when her great-grandmother stepped out into a street
And was nearly run over by a man who would later become her husband

And these pairings and matchings and catchings in the fabric of time
Will only make me stronger
As I put the puzzle pieces together
While at the same time
Becoming the pieces
And the puzzle

The problem and the solution
And the solution being
There is no problem

I am spaghetti

And I can go back

And rather than die, I can lay my hand down on the table
Palm up, fingers out
Looking across at this girl
Whose universe I was about to become

And say--

Can we go dance somewhere?

And she'll say--

Sure

And I'll ask the waiter to wrap up the spaghetti
So I can understand it later
When I have a little less living to do