Japanese White Rabbit Candy

You bite the ear off the first one
Start with the left ear

Good, good job

Now look at it

Matter-of-factly

Right?

Looks like...haha...yeah

Good, good

Here, try some of this

It's good

You like?

Yeah?

Yeah, cool

Hold the rest of it
Under your tongue

Tastes bitter

Tastes good in the morning
When you're fucked up

Still fucked up, I guess

I keep a jar next to my bed

My little Japanese White Rabbit
Candy jar

It's pink

My mom thinks I keep condoms in there

Which is--Yeah

That's her

I'm like, Mom, I have so many boys over, right?

Clearly

She doesn't listen

Thinks I'm a slut

Okay, fine, I'm a slut

No, no, no--don't eat the rest of it

Are you crazy?

You'll fucking--it's bad

Yeah, no seriously

It's bad

Pace yourself, okay?


The first time I tried this I was with Brian


I bit off the whole bottom
Thought I was going to die

He had to take me outside
Lay me out on the lawn
Breathe into my mouth
Which was--

I mean, I didn't like it
Or, I didn't know it was happening
Because I was--

But afterwards I thought it was sweet

He gave me air

I was breathing his air
It was inside me

It was so...

I remember laying there with him on the grass
Picking up blades of it
And letting it fall down on our faces
From a few inches up

Raining grass that night...

When they found him in his basement
I knew he ate the whole thing

Ears, nose, eyes, and all

I was going to do it too

Because I didn't want to deal with things
Without him

But my Mom locked me in her bedroom
Until I stopped screaming

By then, I didn't even care

Three kids from my school went after Brian

The school put up these posters
About drugs and stuff
But they don't even know what it is

They think it's meth

They think we're on meth
Like we're fucking trash

Like we live in fucking Idaho
And write stupid ass poetry

They don't even know

They see us walking around
With Japanese White Rabbit Candy

And they think it's gum or something

That's how they're going to lose us


Because they can't even be bothered
To actually figure out
What it is we're using

When I told my friend's mom that my mom locked me in her bedroom
She got all upset, like my mom beats me or something

I told her she was just trying to protect me

She just doesn't know how

She went all through my room
Ripping up boxes of stuff
Looking for my magic pills
Or my needles
Or whatever

She didn't think anything of the Japanese White Rabbit Candy
She thinks they're cute
When she sees me eating them

Hey

Hey, stop

Hey, stop, okay?

Relax

You have to relax, or you--

Shit

SHIT

Okay, um...

Fuck

Just--breathe

Fuck, why aren't you breathing?

C'mon

We have to get you outside

You have to lay in the grass
You have to breathe air
You have to look up

Just keep looking up

Otherwise--

Shit

Fuck

Why didn't you listen?

Nobody listens

Nobody ever fucking listens