Yet Another Opportunity for Spiritual Growth

I have to remember
That I am being told something

I am being sent a message
About something

And I just need to accept
That the message may not be a DIRECT message

It may be an INDIRECT message
It may be what some would consider a VAGUE message

The message may even be in code

The point is, I am being told something
And I have to listen
To what I am being told

AND the odds are
I'm not being told
That I'm a complete shithead
Who deserves every bad thing that happens to him

I guess that COULD be the message
But it's unlikely

It's mostly unlikely

Probably very unlikely

Potentially speaking

And yet, here I am

In my car

In a swamp

It's one thing to drive off the road
Because a deer jumps out at you

But it's another thing to drive off the road
Into a swamp

Where the water is so muddy
You can't even push your doors open to escape

So instead you wait for AAA to show up
With--

What?

What could they possibly have
That could fight this evil mud
I'm surrounded by?

Holy water, perhaps?

Still, I can't get discouraged

This is yet another opportunity for spiritual growth

The first opportunity came earlier tonight
When my mother asked me if I'm not married
Because I have erectile dysfunction like my father does

The second opportunity came when I got a text from my ex-girlfriend
Informing me that the baby she's carrying is NOT mine
But thanking me for getting so excited about it when I found out

And this would the third opportunity

My, all the opportunities just seem to be pouring down on me tonight

Aren't I lucky?

But what I don't understand

Although, again--

Message, coded, hidden--all possible

Still, what I don't understand is:

Isn't an opportunity supposed to be the chance to make a choice
And better your situation?

And if that's the case
What choice am I supposed to make here?

I can't get out of my car
I can't make the baby mine
I can't have a discussion with my mother about sex
Unless of course I want to rip a hole into the Universe as I understand it to exist
And send all of Earth careening into a metaphysical black hole

So what am I supposed to do?

Just wait for AAA to show up and--

...and...

Wait?

...Wait...

Wait

Okay

Okay, I'll wait

I'll just...wait