Geez, I Wish I Could Go

Geez, I wish I could go
I really do

But it's snowing sooo bad here

Huh?

In Providence?

Well, of course it's not snowing in Providence, Christine

But you should see it here

Oh my God, in North Providence
It is coming DOWN

I can't even see out my window

Nope, can't see a thing

As a matter of fact
I can't even tell where the windows are
Because my walls are painted white
So right now it's all just one big cloudy color to me, Christine

And I really, really, really wanted to go to your dog's birthday party

You know I just love little Pocahontas

Do you still have her wearing that little headdress?

Oh God, that's just adorable

If only it weren't such a storm of snow and sleet up here in--

Well Christine, maybe YOUR half of Smith Street is fine
But you forget, I'm on the OTHER end of Smith Street

That's like a whole separate world, Christine

I mean, you're talking about apples and tomatoes here

Huh?

Your daughter's outside sunbathing?

Well, that's because we're experiencing a climatic shift
You know it's all that global warming
It's making everything crazy

It's nice and sunny where you are
And over here I just saw one of them Yeti's

You know, the snowmen that eat people

Yup, ran right across my yard

Probably snuck in my car

I bet if I tried driving to your house
Even if I made it
That Yeti would hop out of my car
And eat little Pocahontas

Oh, I'd bet on it, Christine
I really would

Well, you just have that party without me
And maybe I can make it next year

But you never know, Christine
By the time they shovel me out of here
I may have to miss your birthday party too

Is it going to be a themed party again this year?

A Gargoyle Theme?

Gosh, I'd hate to miss that

Geez, Christine
The snow just ruins everything, doesn't it?