I Fell on Her Like a Stone

I fell on her like a stone

Third period
Theresa Triller

Like a stone, Little Mike
Like a boulder
A burden
A weight unbeknownst to humans
Until it landed
On her perfect body
In gym class, two periods ago

I went to dive for the volleyball
And she went to dive for the volleyball
And we collided
Like two Universes
Searching for a planet
To suck up into ourselves

As soon as we landed on the floor
There was an audible gasp
From everybody in the class

Including Mr. Pinsky
And he was in 'Nam

My hands were on her waist
My legs were pretzled with hers
But my face--

Oh, my face Little Mike

It was a few inches lower than hers
Meaning it was on--

Her chest

We rose immediately

I went to help her up
But she ran off into the locker room

The gasps turned to laughter
And then I looked down
To see my...

Oh Little Mike

Why did God make my mind so slow?
But my penis so fast?

And why do we have to wear gym shorts
That hide absolutely nothing
In the way of arousal?

Hey Big Mike!

Little Mike, why does your brother hate me?

Oh right, he dated Theresa
And I got farther than he did
Just by falling on her

Tell him I forgive him
For peeing on my locker last period
I deserved it

But here's an inside scoop, Little Mike

After gym, I went out into the courtyard
To clear my head
The threat of detention for skipping Algebra II be damned

And there she was
Sitting on the ground

Sitting

Just sitting

And when I sat next to her, she said--

'You have a soft touch'

And I...well, I still had my gym shorts on

So this time I ran away

But as I ran
I could hear her laugh

And it was a beautiful laugh, Little Mike

It was the softest laugh
I've ever head