Leaving the Priesthood

I have come to you today
With sad news

Sad for you
Sad for me

Sad...for God

I am leaving the priesthood

No, it's not what you think

There's no big scandal involved

God is still very much in my life
As a matter of fact
It's God who told me to leave

Yes, God has spoken to me

Like the burning bush
I received a sign
A message, if you will

It came to me from this...

My friends, meet...Bo

Yes, a puppet

Mrs. Follett, the woman who normally does CCD storytime
Had an unfortunate hair loss emergency on Sunday
Something involving scissors
And her two-year-old going through a rebellious phase

So I offered to do Storytime
And that was when I met Bo

As soon as I put him on my hand
I heard the voice of our Lord
Speak to me

God said--'Ken, it's time to go'

Oh, I can see your disbelieving faces

But let me ask you this

Every week I stand up here
And preach to you about miracles

You nod your heads
You put money in the collection plate
You enjoy hearing about miraculous acts of God

And yet all of you have determined that miracles are no longer possible

I can only assume that means you don't believe in miracles
Past or present
Which means you probably don't believe anything I say up here
So why are you here?

I asked Bo that

I said, 'Bo, why do they come here if they think it's all a lie?'
And God through Bo said--

Well, I suppose that's between me and Bo
I decided if I came here today
And you all accepted my miracle
That I'd stay and help you have your own
But Bo told me it wouldn't happen and...it hasn't
So I'm leaving

I'll miss you all

Please believe me, I'm not crazy
I'm...

I'm actually
At peace

I hope you find that for yourselves
Sadly there aren't anymore puppets
In the playroom of the church

But I'm optimistic

Bo tells me
You're all going to be
Just fine