When the Money's Gone, So Am I

Joe, let's get something straight
Before we begin this little adventure

When the money's gone
So am I

Now I don't know how much you have
In that little brown bag of yours
But it looks like enough to keep us both busy
For a couple of hours

Then again, those could be all ones

But I have a feeling they're not

You do this long enough
You get to the point where you can smell a hundred
From a few doors down

You want a drag?

You don't look nervous
But maybe you are
If you're not
Why aren't you?

Got any other paper bags lying around here?

You gonna talk?
I don't mind talking
I don't ask what I'm getting paid for
I just take the cash at the end

But you realize the longer I stay
The more you pay

You know that, don't you?

Are you aware of that, Joe?

Joe, stop playing with the ring
And look at me

Now I'm willing to marry you
But you gotta give me something to work with here

How often are you going to want me to make dinner?
How many times a week are you taking me out to corporate functions so I can smile at your boss?
How frequently do you expect sex from me, Joe?

These are things we should discuss

Because this is going to be an arrangement
And in that way, it's no different than your typical marriage
We're just going to be a little bit clearer about certain things
For one thing, I like security
For another, I don't like being poor

So however much you have in that bag
Is going to be the determination
Of just how long forever is

I'll be a good wife
Because I'll have incentive to be

Isn't that refreshing?

But Joe, if for any reason
Your job situation becomes perilous
Or the economy takes another nosedive

I plan on getting out while the getting's good

And it won't be anything personal
If that helps

It'll just be what we agreed upon

No surprises

But until then, it'll be wedded bliss

Now c'mon, Joe

Tell me that's not a good deal