If Only It Were Legal

Veronica, I would swallow that man whole
If only it were legal

If it were legal--

Whose husband? Whose husband is he?

Well, how the hell was I supposed to know?

It's not like she's holding his hand

Okay, fine

Never mind him

Although I would swallow him whole

If it were legal

Is it legal?

Jesus, don't yell

I didn't say I was going to do it

I just wanted to know if I could get arrested for it

How about that one?

I'd bury his dead puppy in my backyard

If only it were legal

Huh?

He's not sixty

Veronica, he is NOT sixty

He's--Jesus, maybe he is sixty

Well, he's a YOUNG sixty

Veronica, some of us LIKE liver spots

They're a sign of character and wisdom and a big--

Okay, never mind

But if you ask me
That is one yummy grilf

What do you mean stop drinking?

Who says I've been drinking?

I'm a vibrant young woman
Who wants to bone Abe Vigoda over there
What's wrong with that?

Oohhhhh! Veronica! Check out Mr. Eight O'Clock

Tell me you wouldn't
Roast his chestnuts
On your open fire

Huh?

What?

Nooo...

Oh God...

Well, that IS a short haircut

God, she looks--

Well, good for her

That girl is one handsome man

Jesus, Veronica

If only it were legal

Hmm? Well, I mean...socially legal

...In India

God, the choices

The choices are just overwhelming