At the Holiday Party

Everybooodddddyyyyyyy!

Clink, clink, clink!
Clink, clink, clink!

I want to wish everybody here at Paxton Sands
A happy holiday season
And lots of goodies under your respective trees!

Hahaha--my, who made this eggnog?

It is holidazzling! Hahaha!

I would like to take this opportunity
To apologize for my actions
At LAST year's holiday party
When I did some things that were perhaps
NOT reflective of the holiday cheer
That this company promotes
When it isn't promoting more lenient child labor laws in Pakistan!

Hahaha

Just a little holiday joke there

For one thing, I am sorry that I showed up
Dressed in nothing but tinsel

What seemed like a brilliant idea during Happy Hour
Was obviously a grave mistake

At the very least, I should have bought more than two feet of tinsel
That stuff does NOT go a long way

THEY DON'T MAKE 'EM LIKE THEY USED TA, HUH? Hahaha...

Secondly, I would like to apologize...to Donald

Donald, I am so so so sorry for dragging you into the copy room
And showing you my mistletoe

Although if we're both being honest
You were only a little too happy to jingle my bells
Weren't you, Donny?

Hahaha

By the way, it was lovely to meet your wife this year
And happy six-year anniversary to the both of you

Married on Christmas Eve, isn't that nice?

I think that's nice

Last of all, I would like to apologize to our boss, Mr. McKenzie
For referring to him as the Grinch, Scrooge, the Abominable Snowman,
A spiritual terrorist, fat, bald, ugly, stupid, a misogymnastic

The reason I drink--Ohhh, cheers! Hahaha

And a soul-crushing, foul-smelling, talking reindeer's ass

I would like to take this chance to set the record straight
And say that I do NOT believe Mr. McKenzie is stupid and...

Yup, that's pretty much it!

So everybody, have a great party!

To you and yours and me and mine
And by mine I mean me mememememememe hahaha

Oh and Donny, if you could come to the supplies room in a minute?

I think that's where I left my mistletoe...hehehe

Happy Holidays!