The Country Wife

Sarah got sick in the fall of 1986

It was her fourth and final season

With the company

And we were…flourishing

Our production of The Country Wife
Was one of the best-selling shows
In the company's history

In.  It's.  History

Some people say that we weren’t

That the company was eroding

That the theater was becoming stagnant

I can assure you

Those people are wrong

They’re probably jealous

As someone who was a member of the acting company

I can tell you that we’ve dealt with a lot of jealousy over the year

Now, some of my colleagues

My family really

These people

In this acting company with me

Might say they feel guilty about it

Or that they’ve one this or that wrong

But let me tell you something

I Do Not.  Feel guilty.

I have no reason to

I received

Earned

Sorry

What every actor

In this country wants

And has wanted

Since the dawn of time

A seat at the table

I was a member

Of the most prestigious acting company

In America

And I fought like hell

To get there

So no, I have nothing to apologize for

And why was I or the other actors in my company

Attacked by our fellow artists, I might ask?

Jealousy

Plain and simple

Any single one of those other artists

Would have killed

To have taken our place

And believe me

They would not

Have felt guilty about it

And when Sarah got sick

And spent an entire season

Directing shows inches from her deathbed

Only to finally…

She was my hero

A good woman

And a good Artistic Director

And when she died

Nobody from the community

The beloved, pitiable

Locked-out community

Who never stepped FOOT in the fucking door

Of our theater

Just because she didn’t put them onstage

Calling it principle

When it was really hideous envy

NONE of them

Showed up at her funeral

You want to know about art and artists and actors?

Not a single one of them

Worries about anybody

Other than themselves

And none of them

Has an ounce of respect

For anything

Other than their own work

And ambitions

And that’s verse and scripture

And this is coming

From a preacher’s daughter

So don’t think I don’t know selfishness

And good when I see it

We did good things

Great things

With that company

Because of Sarah

Because of how hard she worked

And to talk about her

Like she’s some kind of pariah

Because she didn’t put a few more people onstage

So they could feel included?

That wasn’t her job!

It wasn’t her job to save everybody

Dammit, she couldn’t even save herself

Once the cancer set in

I don’t understand the point of this

Having all of us

Talk about the theater

The theater’s there

It’s running

You wanna know about it?

Go see a show

But why dredge up the past?

Why smear the dead?

Why talk about past grievances

As if we can do a damn thing about them?

Let it alone, all right?

Just let it alone

My daddy used to say

The answers you don’t know

Are usually the answers

You don’t want to know

And trust me

That man knew what he was talking about