Waiting for Pills

I'm going to die
Waiting for pills

That's what I tell them

Little blue one
Little red one
Little blue one
Oops--which one are we on?
Blue?
Red?

Does it matter?

It doesn't matter

I'm going to die anyway

The pills have an order
A progression
A way of doing things
All their own

And we must follow the rules
Of the pills
Or we risk
Their wrath, or worse
The opposite of their wrath

Their potential ineffectiveness

Because when the pills are kicking your ass
It's a good thing
And when they're leaving you alone
It's a bad thing

The pills dictate the day
The time
The passing of moments

Is it time for pills yet?
Is today a blue pill day?
Is it true that pill's stopped working?

I imagine the pills
Working in little offices
Little cubicles
Where they labor tirelessly
To help me kick this thing

And then every once in awhile
They have to take a day off
Maybe a sick day
Wouldn't that be great?
If a pill
Took a sick day?

And when they do
I feel it

I feel those empty cubicles
Their loneliness

I'm afraid that one day
They're going to pick
The wrong time
To take a holiday
And I'll be left sitting somewhere
Drool coming out of my mouth
Or, the opposite, cottonmouth
Hair falling out
Pitched forward in my wheelchair
Ready to drop

. . . . .

The pills make me forget things
But then enable me to remember
That there are more pills
To take

They cut me
That much
Slack

The pills sometimes too much
Often too little
And always feel
Like bad candy
Going down

I wait for them
Like an expectant child
Waiting for her delinquent father to show up
And take her to a movie

I wait, and I wait, and I wait

Then a clock strikes
A cup of water appears
And a pill is place on my tongue

Down goes the bad candy
Down goes the worker
Into its little cubicle

And then...

......

.....More waiting

Didn't I tell you?

Did I forget to tell you about that part?

I forget so much

I forget what I'm forgetting

See, after you're done waiting for the pills
That's when the real wait begins

The wait to see if there's a reason
For all this
Waiting