Marat/Sade

Can I tell you a story?

Uh…

God, I’ve never…

Okay, um…

We were doing Marat/Sade

This was…not that long ago

2010, so—yeah, two years ago

Seems like…

And there was this boy in the show

Who I didn’t talk to

At all

Because he was…

Fuck, he was beautiful

Is, beautiful, sorry

This isn’t a story where, like, he dies or anything

It’s not that kind of story

So, uh, that show was crazy

I mean, it’s a crazy show

And we all went a little crazy doing it

Except me

Because, uh, I don’t go crazy

I’m not really the type

But, uh, one night

During the show

The boy

That boy

Looked at me

From across the stage

And just sort of…

I don’t know

It was a look

And I…

I looked back

I went home

To my boyfriend

We ate soup

We watched tv

We cuddled

And then I thought about that boy

I fell asleep thinking about him

He was from New York

They brought him in

His name was—

Never mind

I won’t say his name

The show finished

And we had a party

Which we didn’t always have

But I think after this one

We thought we needed a party

And it was a successful show anyway

So why not, right?

And we’re at the pub

And the, uh, the boy is there

And I decide to leave

I’m walking to my car

And from behind me

I hear—

‘Hey’

I turn around

He’s there

The boy

He walks up to me

And kisses me

There

On the street

Next to my car

Then he walks back to the party

I go home

My boyfriend’s asleep

I wake him up

I tell him what happened

He’s not…

He’s not all that upset

He says ‘He kissed you.  It’s not your fault.  I love you.  Forget it.’

But I can’t forget it

I take it into the next show

Into the next character

Into the next day

And the next

And the next

That kiss

That boy

That music

Coming from the pub

Something about…houses

A house

And how it’s…breaking

Or something

And it’s all the…Fuck, I’m sorry

I have to stop for a second

I’m sorry

. . . . .

My boyfriend

He says we’re happy

He introduces me

‘This is my boyfriend.  He’s an actor

We’re so happy’

I’m not happy

But I have no reason

To be unhappy

You see?

No reason

But I’m an actor

I can act happy

I can act happy

Better than anyone

So that’s what I do

But my lips…

My lips remember

So they speak

And they want to speak about him

That boy

So they kiss

My boyfriend

And they want to be kissing him

That boy

So they talk

And all they say

Are lies

Acting

Script

Bullshit

Okay?

So that’s my story

Thank you for listening

I’m pretty sure I’ll never tell it again

Now, if you’ll excuse me

I have to rejoin my boyfriend

Back at the party