Somehow Carolina

Not at all sure how this happened
Not even a clue

The plan, if you really want to know the truth
Was New York

That was the plan from, like, fifteen on
New York
Always New York

Then I took the job in Sacramento
Because consulting is really taking off there
Because of tax reasons or whatever
So there are like five firms
All out of Sacramento
And the company I started with
Sent me there to, like, try out
And then if I did well
They were going to transfer me to New York
After five years
Which didn't seem that bad
I mean, in the span of a lifetime

But in that five years
The entire company ended up moving
Their whole operation to Sacramento
And so I thought, Okay, I guess it's Sacramento
Like, for life

So I start dating this guy
I put a down payment on a house
I give in and start dressing like someone
Who lives in California
A lot of light colors
And shawls

On the east coast, you only wear a shawl
If you work at DKNY
Or you're a grieving Portuguese widow
But in California...

Anyway, I embrace
Is what I'm saying
I embrace California
And then we get the news

Six of us are getting promoted
And scattered across the country
Kind of like the diaspora
And I got sent to South Carolina
Which is--

I said 'No'
I mean I wanted to say 'No'

No, I am not winding up in South Carolina.
Absolutely not.
Sacramento is one thing
South Carolina is another
Sacramento is California
You can say "I'm from California"
South Carolina is just South Carolina
And I knew it was going to be lovely
And charming
Because, let's remember, I was going to be living there
Making a shit ton of money
So of course, it was going to be nice and everything
But I just
Wasn't
Interested

And then the guy I was dating dumped me
And the house fell through
And I thought...

Okay

Carolina

Here I come

Somehow I wound up in Carolina
And there are no plans to move
And even if the company promotes me again
It'll be here
I'll be moved up here
So...

So I guess this is it

And I've just stopped thinking about it
About me being...here

Like, strictly here

It just...

Because does it matter?

In the end?

--That the plan changed
Does it matter?

I don't know

It's hard to remember how much a plan meant to you
When you haven't actually been following it
For so long

It's Carolina now

That's what it is

It sort of seems like
That's how it's always been

Makes me wonder

Is this what it feels like to give up a dream?

Do you wake up one day
And think
That what you're doing
Is what you've wanted to be doing
All along?

Is that just life's way of protecting you
From disappointment?

Is that how you carry on?

God, I don't know

I really don't know