Why I'm Working on My Car

I'm working on my car
Because my husband is at work
And the car's brakes are gone
And we can't afford to take the car to a mechanic
Who will charge us 300% more
Than what it actually costs to fix the car
And I know this because my Dad was a mechanic
And my Dad also taught me about cars
Especially about brakes on cars
Because when he was teaching me to drive
He noticed right away
That I ride my brakes
And he said--'Christine, if you're going to ride your brakes like that
I better teach you how to replace them'

So he did

And so I change my own brakes
And no, my husband is not able to change them
But that doesn't make him less of a husband
The same way not being able to pilot the space shuttle
Does not make him less of a husband
There are just certain things certain people can do
And certain things certain people can't
And changing brakes is a skill
A skill I happen to have

So yes, while my son is inside napping
I'm here replacing the brakes on my car
And I noticed you shooting me that pitying look
As if I'm married to some kind of deadbeat

Well, I'm not

I'm married to a very nice man
Who happens to be married to a kickass woman
Who can work on her own damn car
So cut the 'poor you' throw-me-a-look-over-your-white-friggin'-fence look
Because I'm fine
I'm more than fine
I just saved myself seven hundred bucks

Next week I'm actually thinking about
Patching my own roof, because why not?

I have hands
I have a screwdriver
Why the hell not?

My father taught me about brakes
And fly fishing
And that you should never kick anybody in the balls
Unless absolutely necessary

He also taught me that in a marriage
That's no such thing as a girl job or a boy job
There's just the job that needs to get done

That's why my husband cooks
And I don't
And why nobody in my family
Has gotten food poisoning yet

And that's why I'm working on my car
So if you have--

...Your tire?

Oh...uh, a flat--yeah, of course I can--that's--

Absolutely

And sorry about the--I thought--

Well, never mind

I'll be right over after lunch

Oh, and uh, that'll be twenty bucks

What can I say?
I do good work