Ann Mattison

Your father hated me
Or grew to hate me
Because I wouldn't let him off the hook
Just because he was a genius

His entire life
People made excuses for him
For the person he was
Because he was so gifted
Because he was creative
Because he could paint something
That made you see yourself
In a completely new way

But then five minutes later
He'd be screwing your best friend
Or your sister
Or the neighbor

He'd be throwing things out a window
He'd be screaming at the top of his lungs
He'd say the nastiest
Most hurtful things
He could think of
And everyone would listen
And put up with it
And then when he would finally leave the room
After having sucked all the air out of it
So that we were all gasping for breath

They would all say--

Well, he's a genius

I never understood that
I never understood giving someone
Free reign to be that much of a jerk
Just because they're talented

If anything
They should be MORE polite
Because their talent
Is only good
As the support system
Holding them up

Your father made people pay for loving him

For believing in him, you got called names
For trying to cheer him up, you got sent away
For devoting your life to him, you got your life whittled down
Until it was so small
You could barely see it

And then he'd laugh
He'd laugh as if to say--

Isn't it amazing that I can do this to you
And nobody's stopping me?

He hated me
Because once the last of you
Was grown and out of the house
I decided I didn't have to put up with it anymore

And nothing he could paint
And nothing he could sculpt
And nothing he could do
Could change my mind

I wasn't going to be impressed anymore
And I wasn't going to put up with people who were
That included his staff
Who assumed they were really close to him
When in reality he despised them all

And what did he do?

He stopped...

He stopped caring about me at all
And because he couldn't control me
Because he couldn't make me cower
Because I wasn't impressed anymore

I got tossed out

Your father's life was a gated thing
And if he found out
That you could step outside the gate
And look back
And see that he really was just another guy

Then he never let you back in

From that point on, he wasn't interested
And the only reason he went from disinterest to hate
Is because when I got outside that gate
I looked back

And laughed