It Ain't a Rumor If It's True

Somebody's been saying
That I been startin' rumors

Well, let me tell that somebody
Whoever he/she/bitch may be
That I am not starting rumors
I am telling the truth

Because as we all know
It ain't a rumor
If it's true

Now I know some of y'all
Don't like that I tell the truth
Because some of you
Want to be cloaked in lies
Like some shady squire
In some medieval bullshit world
Creeping 'round
Pulling swords out of shit
Thinking you're smart

Then I find out about it
'Cause that's what I do
I find out things
I don't try
I just do

I find out you're pulling on things
You shouldn't be pulling on
And I use my God-given mouth
To tell the person who owns the thing
You're pulling on
Like it's yours
Which it ain't

And you get all mad at me
Saying I'm spreading rumors
Well guess what, bitch?

It ain't a rumor if it's true

A rumor would be me saying
That your boyfriend spoils you
When in reality
He wouldn't give you
Hay from a haystack
If he was sittin' in the haystack
Snacking on Oreos

That'd be a rumor

A rumor would be me saying
That your sister's teeth are busted
When really her teeth are fine
It's the rest of her face that needs work

That'd be a rumor

A rumor would be me saying
That you're a lovely person
And a good friend
Because that shit is straight up fiction

Those would be rumors
But what I'm talking about
Is the truth

And if it's true, sweetie
It ain't a rumor

If it's true
It's just news