My Old Grey Monster

I didn't expect you today
I thought you were coming Friday
I was going to clean up a little

Not that there's much to clean
Your mother keeps this place spotless
If I saw a streak of dust in here
I'd be shocked

Did she tell you about her plan?
She's going to start scrap-booking
With what, I don't know
God knows she never took pictures
Of anything

. . . . .

This doesn't have to be awkward
We used to know each other
And now we don't
It happens

I didn't expect you to come back
The same person you were
When you left

Although I'll admit
It was nice to see you jump back a bit
When you walked in
Nice to know
That I can still scare you
A little

I suppose I should have moved on
When you got older
And went to college

My friend offered to do a co-deal
Over in Santa Mesa
But it was a closet contract
And I'm not comfortable with closets
No room to move around
I prefer staying under the bed
It's where I feel most effective

Plus, like I said
Your mother cleans this place
Constantly

You should see some of the dumps
My friends work in

I know a guy who almost suffocated
When he was scaring twins
Underneath a bunk bed

That's how much filth
There was underneath
Can you believe that?

. . . . .

So...

. . . . .

Are you still scared of spiders?
What about rabbits?
Remember when you were scared
Of rabbits?

I never understood that
I mean, maybe...
No, can't lie
Never did get it

And Popeye
Why were you scared of Popeye?
Was it the spinach?
Did you just not like spinach?
Was that it?

Oh!

Bread!
You used to hate bread
Someone walked near you with bread
And you burst into tears

Of course, now
Knowing what we know
About carbs
I guess you might have been prophetic

. . . . .

I scared you the most, though
Didn't I?

Didn't I?

Not as much as Popeye
Which I admit, is humiliating
But I did okay
Considering every time you even yelped
Your mother would rush in here
And I'd have to go translucent

You really need a good minute
To work up a scaring
It's a whole production
You can't just pull it off
In a few seconds

God
You were terrified
Terrified of everything

. . . . .

So...

. . . . .

What are you scared of now?