An Afternoon Phone Call

Steven?

Steven, it's Abby

There's...

Uh, no, there's...

I'm fine

I was just wondering when you were coming home.

I know that, Steven, but if you could...

Steven, there...uh...I was feeling sick so I...

I went to the doctor's, just--

Yes, yes, I did, and he--

Well, he told me that, uh, that I was...

That there was, we were, uh...

Pregnant

I was pregnant

No, Steven, no, I...

I was

I said I--

I said I was pregnant

It was, uh...

Hang on, Steven

Hang on

I need to sit

I just need to sit for a second

. . . . .

I didn't know, Steven, I didn't....I didn't know

And now, it's...

I mean, I guess it's irrelevant

I mean, clearly not

There's clearly going to be some sort of psychological fall-out from this

This...

...Or maybe not

Maybe I really am just...fine

I mean, I didn't want a baby

And now I'm not going to--

No, Steven, don't come home

It's fine, you're busy, you said you were busy

It's just, I felt--I told you I was sick this morning so I just wanted to let you know I was okay and--

What?

Oh

I thought I told you, maybe...

Yes, you probably forgot because I'm sure I--

It's all right, it doesn't matter.

This morning there was a baby and now--

Or last night there was, I don't know the exact timeline of--

Either way, I didn't want it and now I don't have it

So, no, don't come home.  I don't need you to come home.

I don't need you, Steven, I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I don't need you

I know, I know I said that

I'm not trying to be--

I'm not trying to be aggressive, Steven, I just--

I...

I lost a baby today, Steven

There was a baby and now there's not

That means something, doesn't it?

Doesn't it seem like that should mean something?

I feel like it should mean something

I feel like I should be crying or uncharacteristically silent or angry or just something, you know, something?

And instead, I just feel sort of...

Really...

Alone

Very alone

Even though I know I have you and you'll be home in a few hours and you love me and...

Still, I just feel...

Like I went through something today

I went through it

And I'm going through it

And I feel like...

Like I'm alone

Alone in it, you know?

That's...

Steven?

Steven, I have to go

I'll...

I'll see you when you get home

No, it's all right

Don't come home early, it's all right

I'll...I'll be all right

I just...

I just need to get used to this

This feeling

I just need to get used

To being alone