Ain't Nothin' Wrong With You That a Woman Can't Fix

-- For the girls --

"Ain't Nothin' Wrong With You That a Woman Can't Fix"

I ain't never met a problem
That a woman can't fix

So this boy broke your heart

Go call your mother
Let her tell you
How your father
Wrote checks in her name
And left her a baby to raise
And played his game
With the neighbor next door
Some whore with two kids of her own
Who obviously didn't have a mother
As good as yours is

Go give your business to your mother
And she'll tell you you're much farther than your father
And her were when they were your age
And your rage will subside
While she confides in you for the first time
That surviving wasn't always something
She was confident she could do

But she used to look at you
And push through till she got to a place
With her son on the phone
Trying to hide the fact that he's been crying
And she's dying to go kill
Whoever brought this on

Instead she tells you to go on
And doesn't give advice
Just splices together enough
To let you know you'll be okay
And along the way
She imparts a few tricks

Trust me, honey
There ain't nothing wrong with you
That a woman can't fix

Go ask your grandma
What a broken heart is

Go ask your aunt
What her first boyfriend did

Left her out on the curb
Like a discarded chair
And dared to call back
Two years later
Looking to see if he could take back
The little nothing he left
But that nothing was good
And in its place was your Aunt
And this time she had
A capital "A"

And your Aunt with an "A"
Told the asshole with an "A"
He should have stayed around long enough
To see her turn into the bitch
She became

Grandma says her first broken heart
Was mended by bending herself into
A cocktail dress
And messing around with a guest
At her less-than-best friend's wedding

And you blush when you hear this
But you laugh at it too
To find out that sometimes
What you have to do is attend
Someone else's happiness
To remember what it's
Supposed to look like

And both of them tell you
To find new adjectives

Find "reliable" and "sturdy"
Not "charming and slick"

Believe me, baby
There ain't nothin' wrong with you
That a woman can't fix

Call up all your girlfriends
And go out for the night
Don't let your plight stop you
From dropping yourself off
At your best friend's front door
So you can go get drinks
And not think about what he's doing somewhere

They'll dance with you
They'll get you trashed
And soon you won't care about anything
But who's driving home

And you wake up on a couch
To the smell of bacon and eggs
Begging yourself to remember
If you actually thought of him last night
But right then your best friend walks out
With your fresh breakfast plate
Making your bed while you're still in it
But also making you feel right at home
In her one-bedroom walk-in closet

You're the closest you've ever been
To a friend
To anyone
This early
In the morning

You push yourself into the car
And this time you're not aiming it
At walls made of brick

Deep down you know
That you don't need a man
Just several good women

Oh sure
You need a man for certain things
But a man rarely handles
Being a band-aid well
So to hell with trying
To make him see
How hard you've been crying

Go call your mother
She's got noise like this licked

Ain't nothin' wrong with you
That a woman can't fix