Rolling the Ball

Stephanie

Can you just do the world a favor
And shut the fuck up
For five fucking seconds
So we can all roll
The goddammed ball

This is supposed to be
A team-building exercise
Not a Stephanie exercise
Not a 'Make Sure Stephanie is Cared for and Catered To' exercise
Not a 'The World Revolves Around Stephanie' exercise
A team-building exercise

T-E-A-M

That stands for--

Take Egos...uh...Away...Ma'am!

God, this fucking ball is heavy
Who the fuck makes these balls?
Do they make them explicitly for this bullshit?
For these fucked up cocksucker conventions
Where we all have to hug and love each other
And talk about how we're going to increase productivity?

You know how we could increase productivity?
If we were sitting at our desks
Instead of rolling a stupid ball
Up a stupid hill
In New fucking Jersey

Couldn't they at least have sent us to Vegas?
BroCorp sent their employees to Vegas
DemiCo sent theirs to Disney World
And where do we get to go?

To New Jersey
And not even Atlantic City
We're an hour away from Atlantic City
And they didn't even get us rental cars
Those motherfuckers

I say we just back off
I say we just stop
Stop and let the fucking ball
Roll back down the hill
Onto those assholes with the nametags
And the fake fucking teeth
Smiling at us like we're puppies
Who just learned to piss on the newspaper

That would be teamwork, wouldn't it?
We'd all be deciding to let the ball go
That's a team decision, isn't it?

Let's do it
Let's let the ball go!

Stephanie, stop crying
Why are you crying?
This is why we all hate you
Because you always CRY!

That's it
I'm letting go
I'm letting go of the ball
And if you all want to keep pushing
You can go right ahead

I'll be at the bottom of the hill
Knocking out some fake fucking teeth
If you're really on my team
You guys will join me

Otherwise
Good luck with the fucking ball