Get Your Kids Drunk

Annette, I'm telling you
I'm telling you
You have to do it
You have GOT to do it

It's fantastic

You have got to get your kids drunk

I got Mackey drunk last weekend
It was so much fun!
We had a blast

MACKEY!

Didn't we have a blast last weekend?
You and your mother?
Drunk as the evening sun
Weren't we?

Oh don't give me that tone, Annette
It was wonderful
We shared things
Things he'd never share with his mother
If he weren't blitzed out of his mind

So what?
We were home
It wasn't like he had to drive an 18-wheeler that night to Iowa!

Oh what?
Are you going call the police on me, Annette?
Your own sister?

Well shut up then
I'm trying to enlighten you

You don't half the things you don't know
Until you've gotten shitfaced with your kids
The things they tell you
Oh my God!

Sara has two tattoos I never even knew about!

She showed them to me!

It was hysterical
Because one of them
Was spelled incorrectly

Oh, I'm her mother

I'M HER MOTHER, ANNETTE!

I've seen those spots before
It's no big shock

Your problem is you're too strict

That's why your kids are going to grow up
To be sexually regressive
They're going to end up being into womb play

Have you heard of that?
Mackey told me all about it
His last girlfriend was into it

It's where two people curl up in a blanket together
And make love until one of them is born onto the floor

What a sicko that girl is

I should have known
Never to let her near my little guy
Especially considering how bad he is
At holding his liquor

OH SHUT UP, ANNETTE!

You're too damn sensitive
You need to have some wine
Do you have any wine there?

You know what?

I'll bring some over

We'll get a little woo-hoo
Then we'll have a nice talk, you and me
Then when your kids come home
You give them some too
And you'll be amazed

You'll be amazed, Annette

At all the things
You thought you didn't want to know