I Will Not Be Christine McVie

I will not be your Christine
I will not do it
I have no interest in it
I will not, will not
I will not be Christine McVie

I will not have you under-appreciate me
I will not have my songs
Halfway down the line-up
When they are far superior
To your bullshit crystal ball songs
That sound like Gregorian chants
Set to lesbian sex noises

I will not stand idly by
While you get called a legend
While you get interviewed
While you fuck everybody's husband
And write songs about it
That I have to sing back-up on

I will not strive and slave over my art
To hear people say shit like--

'Oh! You wrote that! You write?'

Fuck you
Fuck you and your bangles
Fuck your spangles
Fuck your glittery nonsense
Fuck your cape
You cape-wearing bitch

I wish I had fucked your husband
Then wrote a song called--

'I Fucked Your Husband, Kooky Bitch'

And dedicated to you
And made you play tambourine on it
Just to piss you off

I will not stand at the back of the stage
Like some keyboard playing hunchback
While you, the former coke addict
Jerks off some imaginary asshole on stage
As soon as your memory recall kicks in
During 'Stand Back'
Which isn't even A FUCKING FLEETWOOD MAC SONG!

Yet we let you perform it on our tours
Because people like

People can go fuck themselves

I have aged SOOOOO much better than you
And I'm relegated to the dark corner
Off-stage right

That's why I don't tour with you anymore
That's why we're not friends anymore
Because you made me your Christine McVie
Because you wanted to be the star
While I was 'that other one'
Who people only sporadically like
When they want to sound original

I will NOT be that person
I will be LINDSEY before I will be Christine
And don't tell me I should be flattered
Don't tell me I'm relevant
Because though I may be smarter
And more talented
Only one of us got to be on the cover of Rolling Stone

Only one of us got a solo career
Only one of us is front and center
Only one of us got a VH1 Storytellers
So you can just go fuck yourself

I will not be that person
I will not be the Keith Richards
I will not be the Joe Perry
I will not be the Sammy Hagar

And I sure as fuck
Will not be
Your Christine McVie

But I'm sure you'll take solace
In being able
To write a song about this friendship ending

You can turn me into a goblin
And you can be a beautiful witch
And you can talk in weird metaphors
And you can have drag queens worship you
And I'll be moving on with my life

Set that to music

See you later