Why We Got the Limo

We got the limo because we wanted to ride around in the city
And see if we could see it
The way the people who aren't like us
See it everyday

We wanted to hang out of the sunroof
Like we were in a bad 80's movie
And sip complimentary wine
From complimentary champagne glasses
Letting it spill out onto the roof
And licking it off each other's forearms
Getting tipsy off the remnants of luxury

We wanted to be special people
The kind of people who wear high heels
Who dance around every night
At different galas throughout the city
While the rest of us
Just sit around our living rooms
Reclining in front of fans
Because the air in the rest of our apartments
Is as stale and warm as flat soda
On a cheap coffee table

We wanted to drive around
Looking out the tinted windows
Passing people on the highway
And know that they were looking at us
Wondering who we were
And if we were important
Settling on the conclusion that, Yes
We were important
We'd have to be
We're in a limo, after all

We wanted to be important to strangers
Rather than have it be the other way around
The way it usually is

We wanted to drive over the bridge
And go cavorting with the wealthy
At a charity ball of our choosing
Then come back over the bridge
Find a beach somewhere
And wade into the ocean
Wearing evening gowns
And tuxedos
And ties
And sunglasses
And socks that cost too much
And attitudes we can't afford

We wanted to go by all our lousy bars
Where every other night
We get drunk for cheap
Surrounded by other sunken ships
And salute our old compatriots

Yell out things like--

'I'm heading out, Sam! Give my love to the wife!'

or

'Take a good look, Jim! I ain't comin' back neither!'

Imagine their faces
When we stroll back in there
On Monday night
And tell them our story
So we can hear them say--

'How did you assholes afford a limo?'

Well...

We saved up all our change
We saved it in glass jars
Empty vases
Empty milk cartons
Empty buckets
Empty pots and pans

(There were plenty)

Empty ashtrays

(There weren't many)

We didn't pay rent for a month
Then convinced our strung out landlord
That we had and that he must have spent it
And he backed down after a few hours
Of seeming confused

We pawned our beloved objects
Mickey Mouse Club figurines
Ceramic bowls shaped like letters
And a stereo or two
We found outside the university
On move-out day

Then we took all that money
We piled it into a pillow sack
And we got ourselves a limo

You should see the city
From a limo

You should see any city
From a limo

Especially if it's a city you live in

Buildings that used to hang over us
Now seem to shelter us
As we wander through
The forest of urban growth

Streets appear that we never knew were there
And we cruise down them like we own them
And we sing out at the top of our lungs
Filling the alleyways with off-key jubilation

When the night finally ends
We fall out onto the sidewalk
Right onto our front step
With the broken front plank
So unnoticeable
And dangerous
At the same time

We've usually fallen through it
Before we realize we've fallen at all

We're laughing because we're happy
Not because we're drunk
Not because we're soaking wet
Not because we all smell the same
And it's not an entirely pleasant smell
Not because tomorrow is Saturday
Because really it's Tuesday
And we just think it's Saturday
Because for people who ride around in limos
Every day is Saturday

No, we laugh
Because things are grand

We just saw life from a limo
We're broke and downtrodden
And sad and unsupported
But we've seen the world tonight
In a way we didn't know we could

And it's grand
And we didn't know

We didn't know
It was all so grand