A Manhattan Mother

Kate says she's selling her house
Her and Mark want to move further from the city
They're getting country-fied all of a sudden

But anyway, she said if we wanted to move back
She'd sell the place to us for next to nothing
I mean, it's not like she needs the money or--

Jeff, don't give me that look

You know I love New York more than anybody
But I'm not getting any younger
And if we're going to start talking about kids
Then we need to start talking about moving
Because I am not going to raise children in Manhattan

I see those mothers walking down the street
Cutting off circulation in their kids' arms
Because they're holding onto them so tight

I don't want that

I want to give my kids a yard
And fresh air
And if my mother can't see them twice a day
She's going to kill me

Look, this life we have
It's wonderful
But it's a life for twenty-somethings

I'm tired, Jeff
I'm tired now
Imagine what I'll be like with kids

And if I'm not staying out until 4am anymore
Then why do I need to live somewhere
Just because there are things to do
At 4am?

I mean, can you imagine dying of old age in this city?

Do you see what the elderly look like here?

You don't age
You shrivel
You shrink into nothing
I don't want to be one of those people

I want to be my mom and dad
I want to be in my seventies
And still be golfing and dancing
And not have a permanent scowl on my face

It's different for you
You grew up here
I didn't
I wouldn't know how to raise a family here

So I'm not saying we have to go back to where I'm from
But we do need to think about what we want
Because if we're staying here
That means it's you and me
And that's it

No kids
No house
No having it all

We live it up until we drop dead
Like the fabulous metropolitan people we are

So how does that sound to you?

You can't have everything, Jeff

It's not that I'm backing you into a corner
I'm just telling you--

It's one thing or another

That's not my ultimatum, Jeff
That's just life