Missing in America

I come back
Hot day, tarmac
Sunglasses
Non-designer
Black boots
Scaredy cat
Boom
You hear that?
Nope
Okay

Bus ride after plane
Walk two blocks from the last stop
That's when you know you're home
Mac and cheese on the stove
Somebody left the door open
Didn't mean to invite myself in
Didn't see the sign on the door
Didn't know what to say
Guess I'll just unpack

Wrote out notes if I died
What to do, what to do
Didn't plan on coming back alive
Seems like a mistake sometimes
What kinda work is there now?
Things any better than when I left?
Sister's got a few more kids
Nobody knows where my brother is

Everybody wants to hear stories
Nobody wants to hear the truth
People shake their heads
And walk away
Not thinking it's rude
Or that it'll make me feel alone
Or maybe they just don't care

Everybody's way of surviving is different
Some go at it hard, like a tough piece of meat
Some swallow it down like an aspirin
Some just expect it to come to them
Like it's something you're entitled to
Like it should always be that easy

Took up smoking just to take something up
When that didn't work I tried drinking
Then cards, then girls
Then for awhile I thought about talking forever
Until my tongue fell out

People got used to me again
And then it went further
Went to the place where
I was invisible

Nobody asking if I'm okay
How I'm doing
If I need anything

Just back to being missing
Just back to being somewhere nobody knows

That's comfort I guess
As much as I'm ever going to get