The Pictures I Took in High School

They're pressuring me to run
And I'm flattered, I really am
And I think it's something I could do
I have ideas, I'm good at implementing ideas
I've sort of dabbled in public service over the years
But when they suggested that I actually run
And that it would be a real campaign
And that I might--MIGHT--have a chance at winning
Well...that's when I got nervous
Because...of...

I took these pictures in high school
A friend and I were--

Well, I was pretty wild back then
And we were over her house one night
And we got bored
And her boyfriend was over
And he was sort of into photography
So he said we should pose for him

...Like, just, you know, pose--for him

And I was fifteen at the time
And I had, you know, a little crush on him
Even though he was my friend's boyfriend
So I just sort of posed, like, around her house
I have no idea where her parents were
Her parents were never around
Not like mine
Mine might as well have been chained to the kitchen table

Anyway, we were posing
The two of us--her and me
And, uh, of course, things...
Sort of got out of hand
I think she was older
I think she was older than me
Just a year or so
But her boyfriend must have been at least eight or nineteen
So the whole thing was...

But I'm not saying it traumatized me or anything
Because the truth is I didn't even think about it
Until recently when, you know, they asked me
If I have anything...uh, awkward--in my past

And I thought of those pictures
And how I didn't even talk to that girl or her boyfriend after high school
And I have no idea where they are
Or what happened to the photos

Truthfully, I don't even know if they were ever developed

But this was before the age of digital cameras
So when someone took a photo of you
It wasn't just going to be deleted later on
There was film, there was a hard...something

So for all I know
There could be these incriminating...

It's just something I worry about

And it makes me angry
That I'm stopping myself
From doing something
I really want to do
Because of something I did
When I was fifteen!

I mean, that's ridiculous
But at the same time...

I have daughters now
A thirteen-year-old
And a ten-year-old
And I don't want them...

Being exposed to certain things

I mean, I know they're just pictures
And if it were just me
If it was just about my pride
Then I wouldn't care
But--

I'm a mother
I have obligations
To people
Other than myself

So do I run and risk some jerk somewhere
Getting a hold of those pictures
And putting them out there
For everyone to see?

I can't
I just...

I just feel like I can't

Isn't that too bad?

I mean, really, it's...

It's really too bad