There Goes the Neighborhood

Man, look, nobody's saying they can't move here
Nobody's saying that at all
Let them move here
Please, I told Sondra yesterday
That she and I--

I mean, obviously she and I understand prejudice
When you have a couple that comes from--
I mean, two different backgrounds
So we're not--nobody's trying to be exclusive, excluding here, or--
We're just looking at what this is going to do from a business perspective
Like, for our house
Because we weren't planning on staying here forever
And so if there's a time to sell
Because of lowering property values or whatever
Then, yeah, we gotta sell
That's just how it is
That's not prejudice or anything
That's just something we have to do for ourselves
For our family

So it's not about the fact
That they're pirates

I mean, I don't mind pirates
I don't really know any pirates
But I'm sure they're okay people
And that most of the stereotypes aren't true
The things you hear
About the wooden legs
And the parrots

And even if it is
Who doesn't love a good parrot?

They're hysterical
My uncle Bob had one
My uncle Bob also knew a pirate
Had one at his wedding and everything
So it's not about me liking or not liking pirates
But let's face it
They move into this neighborhood
And things are going to change

I mean, let's not kid ourselves
Those people don't know how to live on land

If we were all living down by the harbor
I'd say, 'Sure, let 'em move in next door
They have a right to'

But since when are they interested
In mowing lawns and barbecuing?

They're just going to be uncomfortable
And so, if you think about it, it's really a lose-lose
For everybody
Do you see what I'm saying?

I think we should just contact them
And tell them that they should just stay on their ship
Or whatever, whatever is they're on--now

I'm sure they're nice people
I'm sure they're perfectly nice
Pillaging, stealing, dirty, swearing
Uneducated people

But don't you think they'd be happier
Staying where they are?