1. I really wanted to fly in a helicopter
Just, like, a regular helicopter, you know?
Nothing special
And while I was up there
I wanted to do one of those old-time traffic reports
Like--this is Boba Fett for 93.7
95 is a parking lot right now
And if you think the six-ten connector is any better
Then you better think again!
Back to you, Chet
Wouldn't that be fun?
I think that would be so much fun
2. I want to get a less flashy outfit
Something kind of sleek
I just feel like what I have right now is too...busy
I mean, am I the Predator or something?
Am I deranged Vietnam war P.O.W.?
I mean, I'm a bounty hunter for crying out loud
Can't I just wear jeans
And like, a denim vest or something?
Would that be awful?
I don't think it would be awful.
I'm just not sure what I'm going for with this look
I feel like it's sending a lot of mixed signals
And I think I should really just simplify, you know?
I mean, it takes a certain kind of person
To pull of this mask
And yeah, I think I'm pulling it off
But when 'pulling it off' is all you're thinking about
That means you're not thinking about being a bounty hunter
Which is...
You see where I'm going with this?
3. I would really like to win the karaoke contest
At the annual Mandalorian picnic
Last year, my buddy T'shor was like--
'Boba, you should enter, you're really good'
And I was like, 'No, T'shor, it's not my thing'
But secretly, to myself, I kind of did want to enter
And I kind of wanted to sing 'Girls on Film'
And I feel like if I had, I probably would have won
But I didn't
Because I'm scared of getting laughed at
So T'shor entered
And he sang 'Karma Chameleon'
And everybody loved it
And he won
And I was like 'Well, that's one more regret'
But I hope next year
I'll have the guts to enter and win
Because I really think I can
And nobody sings 'Girls on Film' anymore
It's, like, pretty much a lost classic
4. I really need to see 2001: A Space Odyssey
I hear it's really good
And like, nowadays it's kind of good to see it
Like, everyone's always going--
'You should really see it. It's an important film'
And I'm like, 'I know, I know--I'll watch it'
And they're like, 'You really should. We're pretty much living it.'
And I'm like 'I don't know if I'd say we're LIVING it. I mean, I haven't seen it but--'
And they're like, 'Dude, we're LIVING in SPACE.'
And I'm like, 'I get it, but that doesn't mean we're automatically exactly like everybody in 2001.'
And they're like, 'But we are though.'
Although the people saying this to me are usually drunk
And then I have to bring them home
And then I see 2001 sitting there in the little Netflix envelope
But at that point I'm really tired
Like, too tired to think
And I end up watching Herbie Goes Bananas again
5. I really need to take a new attitude about money
Because, the thing is, I feel like I get a little too caught up
In these jobs I'm given
And also, there are some jobs that I should probably say 'No' to that I just don't
And then I end up getting thrown into the mouth of a sarlacc
And, like, where does that get me, you know?
6. I really need to talk to Jabba about the whole 'tying girls to the chair' thing
It's just really awkward, and I feel like nobody wants to say anything to him
But seriously, it kinda kills the mood at the palace
I mean, you're trying to have a good time
You're talking to some people
There's hummus, which is--I mean, who doesn't love hummus?
But there's this girl chained to--
Basically, a giant slug, and it's pretty difficult to have fun while that's going on
I mean, you get used to it eventually
And yeah, maybe you take a selfie with her
Because you don't want to be that guy
Who's NOT taking a selfie with her
But you still feel awkward, you know?
7. I really should learn to like Solo, but the thing is
He's kind of a really big douchebag
I mean, have you noticed that?
It's not just me right? He's a douchebag, right?
Is it just me?
8. I really have to get over my father issues
Because, I mean, yes, he was killed prematurely
But if you're going to die
At least being killed by Samuel L. Jackson is a pretty badass way to go, right?
9. I'd like to go to culinary school
Just 'cause
10. I want a sidekick
Not necessarily a wookie
Just, like, an ewok or something
Just someone to travel around the Universe with me
And make it seem
A little
Smaller
And that seems reasonable, right?
I mean...that isn't too much to ask
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