Underneath My Husband's Socks

Underneath my husband's socks
He keeps the...

...Outfit

The shoes
The pants
The shirt

I always wondered why he wanted the deep drawer
For the sock drawer
And then I found out

It was so he could keep his secrets there

I wouldn't have known it either
Because he does his own laundry
He's always been very good like that

But then I saw the nose...

It was just a hint of red
In the corner of the drawer
When I saw the he'd forgotten to put away the laundry
I--

Well I wasn't snooping

...Maybe I was...a little

I always wondered why he wanted that drawer

And I opened it up
And it looked like a normal sock drawer
And then...

I saw the red

It was the nose
The red nose

The clown nose

He keeps the whole...outfit...underneath his socks

Then when I'm not home
He puts it on
And walks around the house
Pretending he's...

I acted like I was going to market one day
And I hid in the bushes and watched him

He walked around the house
Making balloon animals
Hitting himself in the face with a pie
Watering the plants
By squirting water out of a flower on his lapel

You know, a wife hears about this sort of thing
But you never think it's going to happen to you

I should have seen the signs

He always liked driving smaller cars

And wearing shoes too big for him

And last month when the circus was in town
He kept having...

...Business lunches to attend

It's the betrayal that really hurts
That and the fact
That he dirtied all my pie plates
And then told me it was because
He was entering a baking contest

The lies, the lies...

Finally, I confronted him

He didn't try to deny it
He just went to the drawer
Pulled out the little red nose
And put it on
Right in front of me

He said, 'This is who I am, love.'

That was a year ago

I won't say things are the same
Because they're not

But I will say this--

He's still my husband
I still love him
And he's still the most serious man I know

I guess everybody has a sock drawer
His is just a little bit funnier