Unprepared

You ask why
I'm not more inclined
To let you invade you
Let you persuade me
To fall farther
Than what I'm allowed

You know why
I'm so nervous
You know I'm tender
You know I'm used

You say I can be new now
New again, impossible
But according to you

It's just I feel unprepared
I feel undeclared
Like I'm not sure
Not just where I'm going
But how fast I'm running
Or if I'm moving at all

This is spontaneous
This is too much
Too much unprepared

I'm not good at thinking on my toes
I'm not good at thinking at all
I'm not good at doing what's right

You have all of the answers
To none of my questions
Just floating around

I fight with every intention
Don't trust my own instincts
Don't know if I'm strong enough
If you're stronger than me

I don't know all your secrets
I don't know your history
I don't know your problems
Your problems might be me

I'm too unprepared now
Shaking and scared now
Thinking I'm thinking
I'm thinking I'm thinking
Thinking too much

Too much unprepared
And you look too ready
You just seem so ready

Why does that worry me?