Benefits

I have a guy
That benefits

He and I
We're friends

We're friends
With
Benefits

Wanna hear how he benefits?

He gets sex
And time
And energy

And more sex
And attention
And affection

(When he wants it)

And then he goes home
And those are his
Benefits

Would you like to know what my
Benefits
Are?

While he's getting sex
I'm getting cheaper

My value is slowly
Depreciating

The benefits?
Fantastic
The stock options?
Not so hot

While he's getting to feel me up
I'm feeling modern

Which is fine
Except part of being modern
Is having choices
And given the choice
I wouldn't want to feel modern

I'd want to feel like a girlfriend
Or a fiancee
Or--gasp--a wife

He gets sex
And I get to pretend
That it's more than sex
While telling him
And myself
That it's not more
But it could be
But it's not
But it might be
That it might not be just sex

Inner turmoil

That's a benefit

He gets to text me
At two am
When he's done doing whatever he's doing
That I'm not allowed to ask about
Because then I sound 'clingy' and 'crazy'
And 'confused as to what this is'

He gets to text for sex
And I supply
And I get the company of a guy
Until--ohhh, goody goody--THE MORNING!
When he'll sneak out
After giving me a rub on the shoulder
And say--

'Later, kid.'

A slumber party
Without the frozen bra

That's a benefit

A date for Valentine's Day?

Not a benefit

A date for New Year's Eve?

Not a benefit

A birthday present?

Not a benefit

Any of those things would be 'confusing'
It's very important to him that I not get 'confused'
Apparently 'confusion' would really compromise my benefits
So I have to stay crystal clear at all times

So as not to put my benefits
In jeopardy

But you know...

Lately...

I've been getting offers
Other offers
For other opportunities
With other men

Men who don't mind taking me to dinner
Or laying on a couch with me
Or, you know, not having sex
Whenever we're around each other

So tomorrow, at 2am
I'm going to call my friend
And tell him that our deal is done
Because I'm looking
For better
Benefits