Look, I don't know why you're nervous
I figured you'd like the atmosphere
Of an Victorian house
Look at that canopy bed
It's, like, eight feet in the air!
Baby, the higher the bed
The closer you are to Heaven
What?
No, I didn't see anything
...Uh...no, I mean, the landlord didn't say anything about the house...
He just told me to have a great weekend
Handed me the keys
And drove off really, really, really fast
Past occupants?
Nah, just, you know
The usual--
Little old lady
Little old man
Slaughtered family of seven
That kinda--
Wait, wait, wait!
Look, I thought you said you were wild
What could be more wild
Than sex in a haunted house?
Huh?
No, sweetie, I didn't hear any noise
I'm too busy thinking about all the noises we're going to be making
I gotta admit
I'm a little...
...Aroused
Thinking about all those dead, headless
Shot-through-the-face tortured souls
Watching us do it on the bed where they were murdered
Aw, come on!
It's not like the guy's going to come back to get us!
He stabbed himself to death
Right after he was done
Cooking his cousin's left arm
In the microwave
Doesn't that turn you on?
No, I'm not into violence!
Don't be crazy
Speaking of crazy--
Do you want to make out in the closet
Where they found his Satanic drawings?
The landlord said if you listen closely
You can still hear him saying--
'Enter me, Lord of Hell'
Fine, we'll leave
Can we at least do it in the game room?
That's where he dressed up like a monkey
And played ping pong
Using his own--
FINE! NEVER MIND!
This is what I get
For trying to plan
A romantic weekend
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