The Giggle Shift

See if you work past three
You start to giggle

That's what I've found anyway

You giggle when you're pouring 'em coffee
You giggle when you're cleanin' the spoons
You giggle non-stop

It's crazy, but it always happen

You giggle at nothing, really

A joke you heard a year ago
The ugly shirt that guy had on at the party you were at last week
The cook spelling out 'Fuck you' in maple syrup
On a stack of pancakes
And you serving it to some college kids
Without even realizing it

You just giggle

Lately I've been working all the giggle shifts
Because you can give people lousy service
And still make bank

After all, you're waiting on the drunk
And the deformed

Society's misfits

They may not be fit for daylight
But at least they're generous

Before this job
I worked at a diner
In Chicago

Nice place, nice diner
But no giggling
Not there

Not when you're coming home
To a closed fist every night

Oh, don't feel bad for me
That's not the point of the story

Feel bad for him
He may still have that closed fist
But he's got a bad eye now too

I traded in one city for another
And believe it or not
I like this one better

Here I get the giggles

And I don't mind being here
When the sun comes up

Better than being at home

Oh, my apartment's not so bad
But my neighbor has men comin' in and out
Cooking 'em filet mignon
And busting her headboard in half
Half an hour later

I don't mind the noise of her lovemaking
But when you can't afford filet mignon
You get tired of smelling it all the time

Tonight she made meatloaf
Which wasn't so bad

Usually I just eat soup

Soup because it's quick
Soup because it's cheap
Soup because it doesn't put too much weight on you
Not when it's just broth and salt

I can afford better
But I eat all the time here anyway

When dawn finally does roll around
I manage to stop giggling enough
To sit down at the counter
And the cook and I eat cheese fries
And bitch about all the bad customers of the night

Then he asks me out
And I tell him 'No'

He says he'll be better than the last guy
And I say that's not the point

The point is I didn't move to another city
To live with a different guy

I moved to live with a different me

I didn't take anything with me when I left
I just took myself
And to be honest
I think I even left that somewhere
Between here and Chicago

And that's just fine
That's just fine by me

Now when I'm sitting down
Eating cheese fries
And watching the sun
Sneak in between the buildings

I'm not worried about where I'm going
And I can go home

I can really go home

Isn't that a funny thing to think?

Kinda makes you wanna laugh
Doesn't it?