Millicent...
I want to take off your coat
And your under coat
And your light coat
And your mittens
And your scarf
And your boots
And your outer socks
And your inner socks
And your shirt
And your undershirt
And your sweat pants
And your underpants
And your underwear
And then...
I want to immediately get under
A really big blanket
And another blanket
And a comforter
And a sheet
And a second sheet
And depending on how cold it is
Maybe another blanket
And I want to listen to the sounds
Of the polar bears bleating
A few feet from our window
And imagine the abnormally large fish
Swimming gracefully
Just a few feet underneath
Our naked bodies
As we cling to each other
Like survivors from a shipwreck
Drenching the precious warmth
Out of each others bodies
Risking potential death
So that we may enjoy a few moments
Of unquenchable lust
Oh Millicent, those people below the poles
They have no idea how lucky they are
To be able to rip off clothing
And go at it
In just a few seconds
Rather than half a hour
Not having to constantly cease foreplay
Until the blood returns to their fingers
Kissing without having bits of their lips fall off from instant frostbite
Or getting mauled by a sea lion who mistakes you for a penguin
Simply because you want to make love by the water
Millicent, what we do to stay close to each other
Is a valiant effort
Whereas for those back in warmer climates
It's simply sex
Those lucky bastards
They know not what they have
But to hell with it!
Lay down with me in this pile of blubber
It'll keep our body temperatures slightly above freezing
Until we manage to complete our carnal adventure
And if it's all right with you
I'm going to leave my hat on
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