Cody on the West Side

Cody lives on the West Side
With two people he knows
And three people he doesn't

Cody lives in a room
That's supposed to be a dining room
And so he's always hungry

It's the ghosts of hunger
Taking him over

He works at a restaurant a block from his house
When he works
And when he doesn't work
He rides his bike downtown
And over to the East Side
Where he looks at houses like the one his dad lives in
Up in Syracuse

He doesn't work a lot
He doesn't talk a lot
He doesn't get in anybody's way

When his dad kicked him out
He took a bus to Providence
Meaning to keep on going
Straight down to Miami
But some guy on the bus
Took off with his bag
And all the cash along with it

So Cody wound up on the West Side
Talking to some girl who wanted to fuck him
And said he could spend the night

One night was more than what the streets were offering
So he shacked up with her
Even though her manner was less than enticing
And the next day her roommates said he could stay

Three years later and he's still here
The girl moved out about a month after Cody stopped fucking her
And he stayed on and found he was much happier
To have even less expected of him than already was

He always has enough money
Not enough to do anything, go anywhere
Buy anything

But enough to live

He could work more
But he'd rather not

He'd rather not work
And be free to ride his bike
And close his eyes
And pretend he's still by the lake in New York

It's not that he doesn't like Providence
It's that he misses riding his bike by the lake
And diving off it right into the water
Going from riding to swimming
Then running out again
With his girlfriend laughing at him
Her still standing on the trail
With her helmet on

He wonders how old the kid is now

The math should be easy
But math was never his best subject
And time is something
He has trouble holding

It disappears into his hands
Like the water in the lake

He misses the lake in the winter
When he wouldn't be able to go in it anyway
Which is the funny part

He misses it when he doesn't ride his bike
And walks to the restaurant instead
Pushing the cold in front of him back, back, back
Losing, because it gets down his throat
And incubates in his stomach

In the summer, he can ride his bike
And close his eyes
Going down the hills of the East Side
Hearing his girlfriend
Hearing his girlfriend laugh at him
Hearing his girlfriend tell him
Hearing her say she was going away

And his father found out
And the bus left at three
And when his phone rang halfway there
He threw it in a trash can
At a rest stop in Kennedy Plaza

He wasn't interested in being apologized to

It could have been her
It could have been his dad
It could have been one of his friends
Asking why he wasn't at the restaurant he worked at up there
For his Friday night shift

It could have been a lot of things

Cody lives on the West Side
Where he reads
And drinks water
And showers
And draws
And dances every now and again
When his roommates have people over
And play bad music in the living room

And he doesn't have a next step right now

He just knows he has to push, push, push
Until whatever he's pushing
Gives up