I Can't Wait to Die Alone

My sister, she says
She makes some comment, you know
About me, about how I'm going to die alone

She makes this comment
Because I'm not in my twenties
And I'm still having great sex

And she, she got married at twenty-eight
Convinced that good sex stops at thirty
And so by then you'd better be married

And I would have let her go on thinking this
Had she not been so vocal about the fact
That I was going to wind up dead and alone

So finally I just said, 'You know what?  I can't wait to die alone.'

I said--

'I can't wait to wake up every day
And not have to worry
About my obligations
To the person next to me

I can't wait to buy the cookies I like
And the soda I like
And watch the movies I like

I can't wait to go out with my friends
Without having to say I have to get back at such and such a time
Because otherwise I'll be waking someone up

I can't wait to have sex when I'm forty
I hear it's wonderful

And ultimately, we all die alone
So before that we might as well
Surround ourselves
With as much love as possible'

My sister didn't have an answer for that
But then again, I'm not sure there is one anyway