Your Friggin' Report Card

Bennnyyyyyyyy!!!

I'm looking at your friggin' report card
And guess what I'm not seeing, Benny?

'A's, Benny, 'A's

No, not gays!

Why would a report card be gay?

Oh, you're being funny?

Is that what you're doing in class instead of learning?

Apparently, Benny, apparently

You got a C- in Physics

What's so hard about physics?

The world is big
The sun is hot
Triangles have three sides

Bing bang boom, physics

You got a B in Spanish
And you work at Taco Bell
That make any sense to you, Benny?

What's worse is you got a B- in English
So you're doing better with a language you don't speak
Than the one you do

I don't understand, Benny

Noun
Verb
Adjectverb

Bing bang boom, English

Then we come to Algebra II

A 'D,' Benny, a 'D'

Why don't I just wear that around
Like the scarlet letter

My son gets 'D's in things
Because I'm a bad friggin' mother apparently
Who let him watch all those Gumby Bear shows
Instead of Reading Rainbow
Like I know I shoulda

Ohhh, but you got an 'A' in gym

Let's hope you can find a college
That'll let you major in monkey bars, Benny
Maybe you can minor in freeze tag

You friggin' kid, you make my insides go up my throat

The what?  The school dance?

With this report card?

Benny, are you out of your friggin'--

Eh, you know what?  You only live once
Unless you're Indian
Then they let you come back and do it again
But the rest of us just gotta live while we can

So go to the friggin' dance
Don't try grinding on any girls though
I don't want you coming home
Smelling like a pancake factory

That's what those girls smell like
Don't tell me, Benny
A mother knows

Now go get dressed
I'll drive you
And you're gonna study English on the way there

I'm going to say things to you
And you're going to tell me
Why I'm talking English

Oh, look at you getting all excited
I friggin' love you, you little delinquent

What the hell do teachers know anyway?
They all hated me
And I finish the crossword puzzle in the Enquirer every week

So there ya go