Zis is not how I planned on spending my Zaturday night
And I am majorly pizzed off about it
Michael Cera, vhy do you keep tvitching?
It is annoying to me
And everyone around you
Perhaps it is becawse you were touched when you were younger
By an amorous Jeffrey Tambor
Or a less amorous Portia de Rossi
Am I hitting ze nail on de head?
And you, Jonah Hill
Do you think you may be eating your feelings
Because ze girls vould rather have sexual intercourse
With Michael Cera
Despite the fact zat he is a large, menstruating bit of genitalia?
We cannot hide out in this bush forever
Vhile the bumbling policemen try to find us
Eventually we have to confront our demons
And try to star in a dramatic picture
So that we may be eligible for an award
That isn't given out by MTV
Michael Cera, you were in Juno?
I thought that was Jesse Eisenberg
Were you the one in He's Just Not That Into You?
Ah yes, that was Justin Long
You're all the same person anyway
So it really doesn't matter
Vill you two stop panicking?
Ve're being chased down by Seth Rogen
He vouldn't be able to find us
Unless we were covered in tvinkie cream and hashish
Then again, perhaps Michael Cera is covered in tvinkie cream
Clearly he has depraved sexual appetites
That have only heightened since filming a movie vith Jack Black
Stop calling me McSigmund!
I have no idea vhat you are talking about
But I do not like it
Eh, screw this
I'm going to see if I can jump into another Judd Apatow movie
Perhaps one where I get to make love to a voman who would never touch me in real life
Because I'm a fat slob with poor hygiene
Maybe I'll see if Funny People is available
This would be so much easier if I had a couch
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