Sora's Snow Days

Hi, Mr. Laronge?

Hiiiiii

This is Sora Revere

Teena and Tara's Mom?

Yessssssss, hiiiiiiii

Uh, I was just wondering...

Are you planning on canceling school tomorrow?

Yes, that's what I thought

Well, I was calling to see if maybe I could talk you out of that?

Oh, well, it's really not that bad

I'm looking out the window right now

And as soon as they figure out what to do
With that four-car pile up
Down on Trevor Street
I'm sure the roads will be perfectly fine

A what?

Oh, you can drive right around those eighteen-wheelers
When they tip over like that
I've done it a million times

I understand, but nowadays
What isn't dangerous?

Am I right?

Don't you think we coddle these kids a little too much?

I mean--

Oh...

It's covered the doors to the school?

Well, that's why God made windows, right?

The students all have little bodies
I'm sure we could slip them right into the class--

Mr. Laronge, they have worse weather than this in Alaska
I'm sure they figure out a way to deal with it!

I'm sure their children haven't been stuck in the house
For the past three days
Playing Violent Invasion of Mommy's Bedroom
Using forks and popsicle sticks
Whittled down to a shiv!

Have you ever been locked inside a house for three days
With eight-year-old twins?

Perhaps I'll ski down to your house
And release two rabid wolverines
Into your kitchen

Then you can tell me
Whether or not
It's too 'dangerous' for you to leave the house tomorrow!

And you're going to sweeten the deal
By keeping them in school longer this year
Which means our vacation in June to the Bahamas
And is looking less and less likely

AND I NEED THAT VACATION!

So I don't care if I have tie the two of them to Saint Bernards
And have them burrow their way into that school
They will be NOT be having a snow day tomorrow!

Now if you'll excuse me
I have to run down to my basement

I think I heard Tara put Teena in the washing machine again
And knowing her, she probably forgot to use detergent

Byyyyyyyyyyyyye