Mr. Benson Bids Miss Byrd Farewell

Miss Byrd?

May I have a word with you please, before you go to places

Miss Byrd, in the four years
That you have been at this school
I have struggled with being your dramatics teacher

You showed up here with an accent
That would curdle milk

I'm still not sure if you're from a slum in London
Or a mountain town in the Ozarks

Your movements were awkward
Your stage presence was non-existent
And your singing resembled a possum
Being force-fed its young

You were a disaster, Miss Byrd
You were the Hindenburg of theatrical performance

The Hindenburg?

Look it up, Miss Byrd, look it up

You were probably aware
That I was not giving you
The roles you felt you deserved
While you were at this school

It's no secret that during your first two years here
You significantly decreased the budget for our sets
By portraying Tree #2 and Rock #3

I remember your performance as Bush #4 'The Little Forest'
Where you sneezed and dropped all of your branches

I thought to myself--Dear me, she's not even capable of playing shrubbery

Then in year three, when you went on as the understudy for Miss Patrick
In 'The Heart That Can't Be Broken,' I was convinced that you would not only break
But probably break the stage itself right down the middle

And I was wrong, Miss Byrd
You were superb

I suppose you just needed that moment
To prove yourself
And once you had it
You did

You taught me a great deal about being a teacher, Miss Byrd
Up until then, I expected all my students to come in with inherent talent
I punished those who actually required me to do my job
And that was wrong

The mark of my success as a teacher
Should be your performance tonight
In the lead of this, your final play here
But instead, the success is all your own

And I suppose that's all right
In the grand scheme of things

I'll miss you, Miss Byrd

I realize your journey here at this school
Was not an easy one

You were never anyone's favorite
You never had it easy
And you had as many moments of failure as you did triumph

That doesn't make you less of a student, Miss Byrd
It makes you more of one

I am proud of those who come into these halls
And sail through their four years
Like ships on a calm sea

But I am even prouder of those who had to weather a storm
And managed to do it
And come out the stronger for it

Enjoy your farewell performance, Miss Byrd

I'll be in the audience
Enjoying it myself