Better Than She's Ever Been

Allison feels great

She feels wonderful

She feels rejuvenated

She feels fine

She bakes cookies

She bakes pies

She bakes apple tarts

And other kinds of tarts

And goes outside

And gets some sun

But not burned

And she says hi to the neighbors

And the neighbors don’t mind

Nobody minds

She’s friendly

She watches tv

Then she turns off tv

Then she turns it back on

She can’t decide

She can’t decide what to put on

And what to turn off

And whether tv

Is the right choice for her

Today

She feels angry

She feels okay

She feels let down

Let down by who?

Who knows?

Allison tries things

She tries journaling

And bullet journaling

And butter in her coffee

Which is supposed to help

With productivity

She tries learning new languages

And ballroom dancing

And various sports

And making new friends

And staying in touch with old friends

And auto repair

And giving up drinking

And drinking more

And laying in bed all day

Wondering what tomorrow’s weather

Will be like

Allison looks great, they say

The well-wishers

And checker-uppers

And nurses and doctors

And two shrinks

And one very perky pharmacologist

Allison looks healthy

She’s been eating

But she still looks thin

But not too thin

We don’t want her to be fat, they say

Of course not, others reply

Just healthy

They all want her to be healthy

And that’s all they want

They want what’s best

For Allison

Allison sits at the top of the stairs

And listens to the checker-uppers

And well-wishers

And second cousins

Go on and on

About her health

And her weight

And the color in her cheeks

And the way she said a certain word

To someone over the phone

Earlier that week

They notice that the knives

Are back in the kitchen

And they question

The wisdom of that

But Allison is okay

She’s fine

She’s great

She’s never been better

She’s taking her meds

She’s seeing her doctors

She’s doing her thing

She’s great

She’s great

She’s really

Really

Great

She's better

Than she's ever

Been

It's true

It's true

It's really true

She makes the rounds

Once she calms herself down

And assures everyone

That she's fine

Better than fine

She’s great

She’s in the prime

The prime

Of her life

And they feel so good

That she feels good

They have their drinks

And smoke their cigarettes

And drop food on the carpet

By accident

Allison plays with her hair

And bites her lip

But she’s fine

She’s good

She’s really good

And when they all leave

She’ll crawl back in bed

And ask herself

How much more

How much more

How much more fine

Can she possibly

Get?

And how much more fine

Can she handle
Until nothing

Is fine

At all?