Divorce on the Beach

I thought it would be hard to want to go through with it

If we did it on a beach

But I guess I was wrong

I guess everything’s easier on a beach

Love, sex--even divorce

Do you want me to sign the papers now

Or wait?

What a failure we are, huh?

And how sad is this?

The two of us here

On the same beach

Where we got married

Where we started this whole mess

Remember how bad

The weather was that day?

We barely made it through the ceremony

Before the rain started

And then when it did

We just kept going

I got soaked

Your mother was furious

And all we did was laugh

That was all we ever did

Just laugh

Laugh at everything

That should have tripped us up

Bills would come in

That we couldn’t pay
And we’d laugh

Trash would pile up around us

Dishes wouldn’t get done

The dog wouldn’t eat for days

And we’d just be laughing
And laughing

Like two jokes
Without a punchline

Life isn’t a beach forever, you know

That’s why…

That’s why one day

You have to say

Well, summer’s over

Gotta get up

And live in the cold weather

For awhile

Gotta figure out

What exactly
I want to be in this world

And that’s the problem with you and me, you know?

I want to be something

And you want to be you

You want to be married to me

And laugh all the time

And that’s, like, two thirds of a life

But it’s never going to be a whole life

It’s never…

It’s never going to be enough

You know?

I started paying the bills

And doing the dishes

And I gave the dog

To people were actually qualified

To have a goddamn dog

And you looked at me

Like I betrayed you

And I couldn’t understand why

But now--

I get it

You thought we’d never get

To the punchline

And the punchline was

That two jokes

Make a tragedy

I mean, the lightning cracked
When we said 'I do'

God may as well have

Thrown a piano

At us?

I mean, the signs were there

They were all there

And nobody thought it was funny

But us

And that about sums it up, doesn’t it?

The whole you-and-me thing

We were the only two people laughing

Until one of us

Stopped

You ready for me to sign that now?

Huh?

It’s okay

No, really

Don’t worry about it

It’s okay

I can wait

I got a room at a hotel

Near the clamshack

And I told my boss

I’d be gone

Until all this

Got taken care of

So…

Here I am

And we’ll sign the papers

When we sign the papers

However long

That takes

I mean, hey--

What’s another day

At the beach?