Two Towns Over

Two towns over

She can see the doctor

At eight o’clock

Before Beau gets home

After working all night

She’ll have her mother come by

And watch the kids

And she won’t ask questions

Because she probably already knows

Three kids and she’s not even twenty-four

And Beau’s going to get shitcanned any day now

For some stupid thing

He’ll blame on his boss being an asshole

When really, he just drinks too much
And now he’s doing it in the parking lot

On break at work

She thinks of women who can’t get pregnant

And wishes she could bottle up her blood

And send it to them
Like a magic potion

Beau and her got into it awhile back

And when it was over

She knew right away

This was going to be kid number four

The doctor she goes to

Knows her father-in-law

So she couldn’t tell him what happened

Doctor-patient privilege doesn’t exist

In a town this small

She doesn’t even know

If the pharmacy has that pill you take

The day after you’ve done something

But she couldn’t go in there anyway

Because the pharmacist is Kelly Pike

And her boyfriend goes drinking

With Beau sometimes

So she has to go

Two towns over

But when she calls for an appointment

She finds out they closed that clinic

And the nearest one

Is an hour away

The woman on the phone apologizes to her

But tells her she’s lucky

Because some women have to drive five or six hours

To get the procedure done

She wants to tell the woman on the phone

That an hour might as well be five or six

When every moment of your life

Is filled with kids or a husband

Who won’t leave you alone

And thinks you’re texting your imaginary boyfriend

Every time he sees you

Looking down at your phone

She doesn’t talk about Beau to strangers
And how they are with each other

Because it always leads to them asking

If he hits her

And he doesn’t

But there’s worse things in life than getting hit

Although she feels bad thinking that

Because getting hit is pretty bad

Her father-in-law hits his wife

Beau’s stepmom

And Beau says a wifebeater

Is the lowest scum of the earth

But that just means

He finds other ways

To be like his father

Ways he can handle

Ways he can stand

She looks up the clinic an hour away

One night after Beau goes to sleep

Takes down the information

Than clears the search history

And hides the piece of paper with the address on it

In the closet

Behind the back panel

That comes loose

He’ll want to keep the baby

Because he’s got three girls

And he’s still hoping for a son

If she gave him a thousand kids

And they were all girls

He’d make her try for one more

He’s not a hick or a redneck

But a man wants a son

‘Even when they love their daughters

They want sons’

That’s what her mother told her

After she had Kimberly

And that was when she realized

Why her mother had six kids

And then stopped

When six was such a funny number

To end at

Her little brother was the sixth

And he ran off a year ago

And nobody’s hear from him since

But that’s not a story to be thinking about now

She could drive the hour

But she’d have to come up with an excuse

Maybe say she needed something else done

Something removed

Something cosmetic

But whatever it was

Beau would want to see it

So it’d have to be something inside her

Which would at least be less of a lie

He wouldn’t be able to go with her

Because he couldn’t afford to take the day off work

But he might ask her questions

Of course he would ask her questions

And she doesn’t have that much time

To plan out a story

She wonders why she’s scared

When she stopped being scared of Beau a long time ago

It’s not about being afraid of him if he finds out

It’s just about the aggravation of him never shutting up about it

For the rest of their lives

So why is she shaking?

It’s thinking about that hour in the car

Going to that place

Where nobody knows her

Or her situation

Where they think things about her

That aren’t true

And even if they were—so what?

But it’s also about the ride home

Thinking of that long highway

And going down it

Like dirty water down a drain

She’d ride for an hour

But she wouldn’t be home

She’d be on that highway forever

Watching town after town go past

And not a familiar face in sight

Driving until the car broke down

And she was somewhere

Nobody would ever find here

Knowing that nobody was even wondering

Where she is

Or how long

She’s been gone