Brenna's Lifetime Achievement Award

Oh, oh God...I just...

Thank you

Thank you sooo much

I had absolutely no idea

That I would be receiving this award

From the Brenna Fan Club

After all

I was the OBVIOUS choice

So I thought perhaps you

My loving fans

Would go for someone else

To surprise me

Which is why I sharpened my nails

And brought pepper spray with me today

Luckily, I won't be needing them

God, this is so unexpected

I almost didn't write this speech!

Let's see, who would I like to thank?

Well, let's do this in order of importance--

Nick Jonas

Justin B

Ryan Rotilani in my Civics class

God

My Mother

And all of you, the members of my fan club

The three greatest fans

Any girl could have

Although some may say

That sixteen years

Is far too young

To be receiving a Lifetime Achievement award

I would point out Joan of Arc

And how at a very early age

She managed

To conquer Sweden

And ride naked on a horse

How fierce was that?

I see some of you are confused

It's all right

I don't require my admirers

To be geniuses

Just loyal

And you are

You've helped me reach

Some of my greatest pinnacles

Getting vegan burgers put into the lunch rotation

Getting the school to offer an AP course on the Twilight books

Getting Molly Kuwaltz expelled from school using nothing but a mannequin and Youtube

It has been quite a life

But let's not stop now

Let's keep going

Let's remember that there are even higher peaks to climb

Greater mountains to scale

Epic undertakings to bring to fruition!

Let's remember that in four short months

There will be--

Prom

I accept this award

With the promise

Of even greater things to come

Thank you

Now can someone give me a ride home?

My brother was supposed to pick me up

But he's being a total tool

And I have a shift at Wendy's tonight

Ugh