I Thought You Were Gay

Oh, I'm sorry
I thought you were gay

I didn't realize
I was signing up
To deal with girl drama
And word play
And bitching

I didn't think I'd be dealing
With feelings
And nonsense
And bad boy fixations
And reparations every day

Gee, I'm so sorry
I thought you were gay

I didn't think you'd like a clinger
Or a dead ringer for a teen queen
With a mean streak

I didn't think you'd peak at twenty-six
Or get your kicks from bad pop music
And cock blocking your friends
I'm shocked, I must say

Gee, I'm so sorry
I thought you were gay

I thought you liked men
Not girls and not boys
And not cheap ploys
To get what you want

I thought you liked sex
And I thought the next to last thing
You'd ever do
Would be to make me jump through hoops
To get closer to you
Than I got
To the last girl I liked
Way back in eighth grade

Some people get upset
When they come to terms
But me, I thought
I had it made

And then you show up
And you want me to read your mind
And find endless delight
In your menial plights
Do nothing and feel good
Just because you're a part of my day

Didn't think that was you
'Cause I thought you were gay

What you are's what you are
But it's not who I am
Where I am
Where I wanna stay

You must have forgotten
The fact that I'm gay