Hiding Daddy's Money

Boys!

Mom has a new fun game we can play!

Daddy just called from the office
And apparently some of Daddy's government friends
Stopped by to say hello to him
And ask him about some...things

And Daddy didn't really have the answers
Right there at his office
So now his government friends are coming here

They'll probably have guns and stuff
Won't that be exciting?

Anyway--

Before they get here
We need to start and finish this game

Let's just get that clear
SPEED is a very big part of this game

Speed and CUNNING!

I know you boys are cunning
Because you're your father's sons

Here's how we play the game

I'm going to give you both
Two pillowcases of Daddy's money

I want you to find as many good hiding places as you can
Either in the house or outside
Where you can hide the money

Be creative now
Remember how Mommy always says
That creativity is important!

Don't just shove the whole pillowcase
Underneath your bed and call it a day

Think of places where Daddy's government friends
Would have a really, really, really hard time
Finding it

I already hid some of it
In a hollowed-out copy of 'Valley of the Dolls'
Stuffed inside a cabbage
And behind Grandma Lila's portrait

Nobody went near that old bag in life
And I doubt anyone's going to tango with her now

Oops, Mommy called Grandma an old bag
Naught, naughty Mommy

Now like any game the object is to win
But we also want to have fun!

But we also really, really need to win

Because if we win
You boys will both get
To go to the Bahamas
Where we'll wait
For Daddy to show up
And then change our names!

Just think!
You can even pick your own names!

And if we lose, at least we'll know
We tried our hardest

BUT--Mommy and Daddy
Will probably go to jail

Yup, stakes are high, boys

Stakes--are--high

So take your pillowcases
And HAVE FUN!

Oh, and if you hear gunshots
That means they tried
To take Mommy's new purse

And Mommy wasn't having it